I wrote this letter to Weldon during one of the hardest times of our marriage up to that point, I didn't blog much during our faith transition because it was such a hard time for us and it was hard for me to think positively of our situation. I found this letter that I wrote to Weldon several years ago and I wanted to include it here to remind me that if we ever go through such a rough time again that this marriage is worth fighting for and we are worth fighting for. I married a good man and sometimes I just get angry and dwell on the negatives when I should be focusing on all of the things that are wonderful. Here is a letter I wrote after one of our arguments:
Dear Weldon,
This morning I was frustrated and upset with you and was feeling very negative and grumpy and I didn’t like the way that felt so I started to write down things that I love about you and found that the more that I wrote the more I realized that I love so very many things about you. I made a quick list in no particular order of some of the things that I love.
Here it is:
Reasons I love Weldon
1. He is fun to be with
2. He is funny
3. He can make me laugh over the silliest things (Think “good, clean, fun!”)
4. He is smart
5. He is kind
6. He is the world’s best dad
7. He knows me better than anyone else and loves me anyway
8. He is very knowledgeable and can research like nobody I know
9. He has funny quirks and habits that make him special and unique
10. We get along and our personalities go great together
11. He is trustworthy
12. He is one in a million
13. He is super handsome
14. He has nice hands
15. He is patient
16. He is my best friend
17. He knows all of my buttons to push… good and bad
18. He makes me feel good about myself
19. He is always very complimentary of everything I do
20. He teaches me patience and the value of thinking before I talk
21. He makes me a better person
22. He helps around the house
23. He makes this house a home
24. He keeps our family strong and together
25. He always thinks of himself last
26. He puts everyone else’s needs and wants ahead of his own
27. He somehow comes up with the energy to give the kids and me the love and attention we need when I know he would like nothing better than to have some alone time and rest from work
28. He goes to work every day to make sure we are taken care of and provided for
29. He is very responsible
30. He gives me butterflies
31. I am never bored
32. He is not judgmental of my flaws
33. He is forgiving of my mistakes
34. He shows me how to relax and have fun
35. He helps me not be too uptight
36. He is teaching me how to better communicate
37. He is very goal oriented
38. He is forward thinking
39. He is always encouraging and supportive of my hopes and dreams
40. He is brave, not only in the traditional sense of the word but also brave for having dreams and goals and being willing to go after them and not giving up on himself
41. He is an example to me of what dedication to something can be
42. He is strong; both physically and mentally
43. He is an example to me in so many ways
44. He is not afraid to apologize to the kids if he acted too hastily
45. I have a great life because I get to share it with him
46. We have the same long term hopes and dreams for our family
47. He is gentle
48. He is observant
49. He is sensitive to the feelings of those around him
50. I have learned so very many ways about how I can be a better, kinder person just by being around him
There are only fifty things on this list and they don’t even begin to scratch the surface of why I love you. You are my everything and I don’t care if we don’t see eye to eye on everything because I love you anyways. You will still be a good person and the wonderful man I married no matter what choices you make religiously. I will love and support you regardless. I love you and I am sorry when I don’t always live up to your expectations.
Weldon I love you so much and in so many ways that I would never be able to put into words on paper. You are a good guy and you mean the world to me. I am sorry and I love you.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
letter 7/13/2016
Ok so update time for me. I got distracted yesterday reading
through past updates and had fun doing that. I love seeing how things have
changed for us and remembering things that the kids did or said. I love having
kids and being a mom. They make life interesting and very entertaining. A few
weeks ago Weldon had a job interview in Indiana so the kids and I took him to
the airport in Phoenix and then stayed at a hotel for three days while he was
gone. I was excited but a little nervous about having four little kids by
myself in a hotel for three days. It was awesome though. We had so much fun. We
had a suite that had a kitchen and stuff so that was really nice because I got
stuff like popcorn and ice cream sandwiches and lunch stuff so we didn’t have
to eat out all of the time. We went to the Arizona Wildlife zoo and aquarium
and that was really neat, we only got to see a fraction of what they had
because the kids got tired and hungry and it was hot so we just called it and
went back to the hotel to rest. It was really expensive to get in but I figured
we were farther ahead to leave while everyone was still happy then to try and
tough it out and see everything and drag grumpy tired kids around. We went
swimming and the next day went to a train museum in Scottsdale that was pretty
neat, we got to ride a little train and a merry go round and had a good time
there. I really enjoyed just being there with the kids and going and doing fun
things with them. We were sure glad to see Daddy though. We went to the airport
a little early to surprise him and meet him at the gate rather than just in the
parking lot like we had talked about. The kids thought it was pretty neat to
watch the planes roll up to the gates and we even got to see the one Weldon was
on. We were happy to see him and that was fun.
Right now as I am typing Weldon is flying home from a job
interview in Ohio. He was supposed to get home last night but his flight kept
being delayed because of bad weather and was finally cancelled all together.
They were setting up cots in the airport for everyone stuck there to sleep on
but Weldon was lucky and was able to get one of the last available hotel rooms,
except when he got there he was too nervous about oversleeping and missing his
flight in the morning that he wasn’t able to sleep anyway and ended up going
back to the airport around 3 am to get through all of the security before it
got too busy. Then his flight was delayed a few more times but now he is
finally on his way. We are hopeful that he gets this job. It would be hard to
leave but it would be an exciting adventure! Here the kids are swimming in plastic bins while he was gone.
We have been a little sick here, nothing that seems too bad,
just a bit of a fever that lasts a day or two. Well yesterday Colton told me he
kinda liked being sick because he got treated like a king. I rolled my eyes and
gave him a dirty look and he laughed and said “ just kidding mom, thanks for
taking care of me!” Haha he did enjoy laying around in my robe and on a heating
pad all day. Colton is always saying funny things and using big words, even if
sometimes he uses them wrong. We can usually tell what he is trying to say
though. A while ago we were driving the back country byway to Morenci and past
a group of cows out grazing, we could see a big bull standing in the shade up
on the hill. Weldon pointed him out and Colton says “yeah he is just standing
up there trying to look good and ‘repress’(impress) the girls!” One time
Weldon’s parents asked Colton how he knew so many big words, he shrugged his
shoulders and said “from movies mostly, but you need to be careful because you
can learn bad words from movies too, like the Goonies, I learned the word (in a
whisper) ‘shit’ from that movie and was saying it at school until mom and dad
told me it was a bad word!” I was laughing so hard overhearing this conversation,
and its true too, he told us he would say that word whenever the bell would
ring to say recess was over, he had no idea that it was a bad word. Fast
forward a few weeks and we were on a picnic in our minivan and ended up going
down a really rough road. It was so bad. So So bad, I don’t even think many
four wheeled vehicles would attempt it and if we got stuck we were just outta
luck because no tow truck could come get us, but we were going mostly downhill
and there was no way we could turn around and go back up so we would go as far
as we could and then we would take turns getting out and directing the driver
over the crevasses and around the boulders in the road. It took us an hour and
a half to go about a mile or so. Well during a particularly rough section poor
Pepper (the dog) got really car sick and puked in the van just as we scraped
bottom and poor stressed out Weldon said ‘shit’ really quietly under his breath
but somehow the kids heard him. Kaci gasped and said “Daddy that’s a bad word!”
And Colton shakes his head disapprovingly and says “yeah Dad, we learn from
you, ya know!” Weldon had to apologize and we had a good chuckle about that
later, but it’s true, these little people are like sponges! We made it out of
that mess and the van did too! The next week we had to put Pepper down because
the vet found cancer. It was really rough, especially as I had all four kids
with me at the vet’s office and we were all crying our eyes out. Weldon was so
sweet, he took work off and went to the vet and picked up her body and called
Mom to see if we could bury her out at their place. It was really so sweet and
considerate of him and it help give us some closure because I was so upset and
just trying to take care of the sad kids that I didn’t even think about that.
He sure is a good guy and I love him so much. The next week we went to Tucson
and picked up Shadow, our current dog. He is a good dog and the kids love him
and he loves them too.
Sweet Kaci made me laugh the other day because she was
playing a shark game on the iPad. In the game you are the shark and you can eat
people and stuff (morbid I know, yet strangely entertaining!) anyway the shark
had swam past a scuba diver and the scuba diver stabbed the shark so Kaci had
the shark turn around and eat the diver, then very matter of factly she says
“and that’s what you get for stabbin’ me!” There she was in her pink dress with
her hair done up all cute and her pink lipstick on, and having her shark eat
scuba divers. She is my sweet snuggle girl who loves all things girly and pink.
And boy does she love babies. She told me yesterday that she loves loves
babies, even if they are boy babies! It is cute to watch her play baby dolls
and sometimes she will ask me to play with her, I try to as much as I can just
because she doesn’t have any one here to play with, at least not the way she
wants too. When the boys play with her the games end up being a little less
like “house” and a little more like “hunger games” she is not a fan of that.
She likes to have her nails painted and it is really cute because she can talk
Weldon into doing that for her and she will sit on the table while he sits
there all hunched over and paints her little fingers and toes. One time when he
was done she said “Thank you Daddy!” and then hopped off the table to come show
me in the other room and in a whisper she tells me “I just didn’t tell Daddy
this because I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but he isn’t very good at
painting my nails, I just think he needs more practice!” He has done her nails
several times since then and we agree that he has gotten much better at it.
Preston is a goofball who is never quit as happy as when he
is pestering someone. His little eyes sparkle and you can tell he is just
having so much fun, of course it is less fun for whomever he is pestering. He
is also a huge Mama’s boy and I love it! He has to give me kisses several times
before bed and wants to snuggle me any chance he gets. He comes and give me
kisses first thing in the morning and then gives me my glasses and proclaims
that he is starving and I need to fix ‘bleckfast’. He also gives me kisses
wherever he can almost every time he walks by me. I have gotten used to kisses
on my arms and stomach and if I am standing even on my bum, pretty much
whatever part of me he is next to and can kiss. If I go anywhere he thinks he
ought to as well. But most importantly I have had the honor bestowed upon me of
being the only person allowed to wipe him after he goes potty. Yep, I feel the
love from that honor. Weldon thinks this is hilarious and totally uses it to
his advantage, when Preston yells that he is done Weldon will yell back that he
is coming but then Preston yells, “no, Mama!” and Weldon will give me a sneaky
smirk and say “well I tried”. Haha oh well.
Oh my sweet baby Owen, what to tell about him… He is getting
such a personality. He can say a few words and it is fun trying to decode him
and figure out what he wants. We have learned that he loves his ‘OOOSH’ (shoes)
and wants to wear them all day long!! I hide his from him, but he is not picky
and will wear anyones. This is particularly entertaining when he is clunking
around the house with high heels on. He hates swimming but loves his bath,
loves to laugh and give kisses. Oh baby kisses are just the sweetest! Instead
of a pucker he just sucks his cheeks in so he has a fish face and that is how
he give kisses. His favorite word is “no” He doesn’t say it and tell us ‘no’,
but he says it over and over while he is doing something he is not supposed
too, like get in the trash or play in the dogs water. Then when we find him and
our ‘no’ joins his he thinks it is pretty funny. He is also not supposed to
drop food off of his tray for Shadow but one time when he thought I wasn’t
looking he dropped a noodle over and when he looked up and saw me watching him
he put on the most innocent face and shrugged his little shoulders and said “uh
oh”. The little goose. He is so funny and makes me laugh all the time. He also
says “moyee, moyee!” which means “more More!” and he is very persistant and
loud if he wants something he isn’t getting. He says mama and daddy, and dadow (shadow)
uh huh, night night, love you, and probably some more things I don’t recognize
yet. He loves music and love to dance and sing along. He is just the happiest
little guy and we are so glad we have him in our family. Well I know I should
type more but my fingers are tired, so I am not going to. Life is beautiful and
we have so many things to be grateful for. I love my family and wouldn’t change
a thing about any of them. Owen also had hernia surgery. That was sure hard for Weldon and I to see. We were so worried about him, thankfully Monie and Papa were willing to watch the other kids as well as Shadow.
This is a picture of Weldon with a rattlesnake that he killed with a slingshot. He is crazy good with a slingshot and we go out snake hunting several nights a week where we just drive down roads in the middle of nowhere looking for snakes and shooting our slingshots at signs along the way. haha pretty redneck but seriously so much fun. the kids love it too, they call it our roller coaster because of all the bumps and hills we go over.
So Weldon got hired by Eaton in Van Wert Ohio. I got to go up with him and find a place to rent in Fort Wayne Indiana. it was really fun to just go somewhere with Weldon but I missed my babies so bad I cried every night we were gone. We are excited and nervous to move. Here are some pictures of our trip to Indiana/Ohio as well as some of the fun things we have done in AZ before moving.
These were all taken near Aravipa Canyon on a picnic with Monie and Papa. we found some turkey feathers and the kids thought they were awesome.
Daddy came up with the awesome idea of tinfoil hats and we had a marvelous time playing with them.
Up Coronado Trail
Weldon Swinging on a vine
Fishing at Cluffs
Weldon and I when we went to find a place to rent in Indiana
Fishing at Riggs
Goodbye Arizona!!
Here are some pictures of some of our adventures. A trip to the cliff dwellings and our day camping trip up to blackjack where we roasted marshmallows and cooked hamburgers and set up Weldon's hammock. also a picture of Weldon's 30 birthday. We are so lucky to have this guy... he is seriously the best!!
This is a picture of Weldon with a rattlesnake that he killed with a slingshot. He is crazy good with a slingshot and we go out snake hunting several nights a week where we just drive down roads in the middle of nowhere looking for snakes and shooting our slingshots at signs along the way. haha pretty redneck but seriously so much fun. the kids love it too, they call it our roller coaster because of all the bumps and hills we go over.
So Weldon got hired by Eaton in Van Wert Ohio. I got to go up with him and find a place to rent in Fort Wayne Indiana. it was really fun to just go somewhere with Weldon but I missed my babies so bad I cried every night we were gone. We are excited and nervous to move. Here are some pictures of our trip to Indiana/Ohio as well as some of the fun things we have done in AZ before moving.
My 28th Birthday. and it was a HUGE deal for me to have a picture of me taken wearing a tank top. haha
These were all taken near Aravipa Canyon on a picnic with Monie and Papa. we found some turkey feathers and the kids thought they were awesome.
Daddy came up with the awesome idea of tinfoil hats and we had a marvelous time playing with them.
Playing in the water with cousins at Grandmas house
Up Coronado Trail
Weldon Swinging on a vine
Fishing at Cluffs
We loved going out in the desert and watching Weldon shoot his bow. He is pretty dang good!
On top of Mt. Graham having a picnic
First day of school, second grade for Colton and Kindergarten for Kaci
Weldon and I when we went to find a place to rent in Indiana
Fishing at Riggs
Our last walk in the desert before moving. We even found some snakes to shoot with our slingshots and the sunset was a gorgeous farewell!
Goodbye Arizona!!
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